Sleep....?

I guess I have never known how lucky I was when I was able to sleep the way I wanted. It was amazing, to be able to wake up whenever I wanted and linger in bed for as much as I could.

It was even OK when I started working, cause although I was working 12/12/7 I still somehow managed to sleep for 10 hours in between. It's true I had no social life or any kind of life at all for that matter, but at least I could sleep.

Now I have no social life, no job, and somehow I managed to get no proper sleep in the last 7 months. How? Well, I though it's obvious, I got myself a brand new wonderful baby boy... And he doesn't sleep as much as I would.

Yes, I guess motherhood for me, at least in these first few months has meant basically little sleep and a lot of hustle. Raising an infant it's not as easy as others let is seem. I always though it was going to be though, but I assumed the worrying and not knowing why he is crying and what should I do. But believe it or not, my little boy is a little angel, he almost never cries, he didn't have colics, he behaved really amazing since he was born. Except for the sleep pattern... or should I say lack of pattern.

Anyhow, I guess I am just frustrated cause I miss my sleeping days... But enough is enough, there should be no more talk about this... until the next night that he wakes up every hour or so...

Time to go now, we're gonna have our midday nap... Yuhuuu

ByeBye

I'll be back ... she said

So guess what, after a total absence of about 5 years, with a total change of heart and mind... I am back.

Just as I said to myself when I stopped writing, I guess I saw myself and I realized that I had nothing to share, I had to live first, taste the wine and get drunk, as they say, and than complain about the hangover.

So here I am, i tasted the wine and I did get drunk (once) and I am here to complain about my hangover.

I guess I would have so many things to tell you, so many things I had lived and so many more things I wish I would have never lived. But what's the point in that? I think we are supposed to live the present not the past while we wait for the future, no matter how that looks like.

So let by gones be by gones and start all fresh and new, what do you think?

Ok... I will be back again, I have to go right now.

Nice to see you once more anyway... Talk soon

ByeBye

just beautifull...

Such beauty in their shape
The proud stacks of hay
I never change my heart
And never do they...
Such innocence you see
The pure stacks of hay
I never change my soul
But do they?...
I never change my mind
They never change their's
Because they're always the same
Amaising stacks of hay...

(to kurt)

surrender?

I always assumed that the scars are on the inside... that no one sees them. I guess i was wrong. It would be so strange that someone would stop you some day on the street and ask you: "why are you hurting?" And what would you answer? I am not hurting. I was hurting. It's just the pain, that never leaves me, that keeps eating my soul, that keeps feeding me sadness, giving me pain, leaving me hopeless... Yes. I would certainly say that. And that person would look at me, smile, slowly turn around and while he is turning, i would see... his marks.
I would suddently hear myself shouting.... You have the scars too... and you are so full of life and hopes... how?
Guess he would say: "I never lost faith, hope, never surrendered" he will turn around and just leave... you will never see him again.
I always assumed wrong. I know that now. Keep your scars on the outside so that they dissapear.

I used to think that strange beauties only come to life through fire and pain.... I used to think that strange feelings olny come to life through passion and tears.... I used to have a lot of this thoughts... but now... i think that beauty comes under all shapes and sizes, comes easily and peacefully as the summer rain, comes sweet and painless as a kiss....
Now i can say that i know how hard you find beauty but i know that it's harder to keep it... don't you think? SO if you find what you are looking for... hold on to it... and, as someone said once, beauty is in the eye of the beholder... true

hey

hello cik ma las convinsa sa-mi fac blog... sper sa ma tina...:D